Posted by Peter H on March 17, 2006 at 15:53:08 from 213.122.0.248 user Peter_H.
In Reply to: Re: Beckfoot - a heartfelt plea posted by Jock on March 17, 2006 at 14:58:29:
Over the years that you have been posting to Tarboard you have raised objections to many different kinds of posts.
Jock - I think two words of the above are unfair and misleading, but I think you have put your finger on an important board problem. As I see it, I have never 'raised an objection' to a post, in the sense of objecting to its presence on the Board. You yourself once rightly criticised the category you called the 'Get Off Tarboard' posts - and I agree.
I would ask you three questions (and they are not idle ones):
1) Do you think it is possible to disagree with a view expressed in a post on Tarboard? What is the difference between 'raising an objection' and 'disagreeing'? It is possibly a grey area, but I think it should be a 'given' that everybody is entitled to post what they like on Tarboard, subject to the Board Rules. Once that is accepted, then why can't we post messages of disagreement. You have frequently disagreed with me yourself (and you have just done so!). I do not regard you as having 'raised an objection' to my posting. Why do you regard me as having done so?
2) I always try to express myself politely, and in the recent heated exchanges I carried on doing so. Can you point to anything that infringed the normal Board courtesies? If you can, could you also look through Prue's posts and do the same thing? You may not wish to do this, and I would understand why, butI am quite genuinely at a loss as to why I get involved in so many kerfuffles. Why on earth do you think people have to have 'broad shoulders' to deal with me?
3) Can you see a dividing line between being extra-polite, over-polite even, and being 'condescending' (which I have recently been accused of)? How does one avoid being condescending without being curt?
I am a human being too. The recent Beckfoot exchanges caused me quite a bit of distress because I didn't know what I had done wrong. Your last paragraph I found slightly hurtful. I really do try to do my best.
I would prefer you, if you could, to reply by email, but I know you have a practice of not doing this. This means I have to go through the embarrassment of self-examination in public. Well so be it - I really need to know the answers.
If anyone else wishes to contribute (and anything from Ian would be especially welcome), please do.