Re: What People Post (or should or shouldn't!)


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Posted by Kathy_S on August 28, 2006 at 03:20:37 from 69.81.57.23 user kschmid.

In Reply to: Re: What People Post (or should or shouldn't!) posted by Jock on August 26, 2006 at 07:36:20:

I am not a newcomer to this list. I have in fact been reading AR-related sites since the good old days of Virtual Tars and Signalling to Mars, when I believed that AR fans were invariably polite and welcoming persons. I think, however, that had I read TarBoard for the first time this year, I would have run away screaming, particularly upon encountering comments that appear designed to shut out newbies. A case in point is the one that, however unintentionally, appeared to imply that persons who haven't read all twelve books shouldn't bother participating. What kind of impact would that have on a young person who has just encountered the few books available in his/her library, and has gone to the trouble of looking for a place to talk about them? The "five year apprenticeship," although perhaps tongue-in-cheek, is not an improvement.

If people know each other very well, they often exchange "friendly insults" that would not be understood as friendly by outsiders. I think – or at least try to believe – that much of what I perceive as rudeness, put-downs and point-scoring on TarBoard is really just a group of 'friends" joking with each other and forgetting that they are on public view. I generally try to ignore the bickering and hope for more posts by gentlepersons like Ed Kiser. Unfortunately, I know of at least a few devoted AR fans who just don't bother any more.

I suspect this will probably receive the usual response to suggestions that TarBoard is less than perfect, but do think that it would be nicer if people could remember that:
1. Without voice and body language, "jokes" are not necessarily recognized as such. This is particularly true of the "dry sense of humour." Perhaps we should adopt a set of emoticons, or the *g* (grin) and *lol* (laughing out loud) of other boards, to help give the reader some idea of the writer's intent.
2. When presenting an opinion, one could soften the impact by beginning with phrases such as "I think that" or "it seems to me" rather than using harsh declarative sentences. Wording so brusque as to suggest that anyone who disagrees is an idiot is particularly offensive to some readers.
3. When people ask AR-related questions, we should make more effort to answer them with at least a polite one-liner. (That includes me, though I will continue to leave anything related to sailing to the sailors. I prefer the more land-based exploits of Winter Holiday, Picts & Martyrs, Swallowdale and Great Northern?.) It should be even easier to respond to repeated questions with a kind phrase and, if it would be helpful, a quote or link. (I do NOT mean to issue the equivalent of, "Read the FAQ, stupid.") In the same vein, I suggest that "amusing" tangents should follow rather than precede serious answers. I am by no means proposing that tangents be eliminated, only observing that persons receiving only frivolous answers tend to go away with hurt feelings.

Thank you for reading.


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