Posted by Peter Ceresole on November 03, 2013 at 10:35:19 user PeterC.
In Reply to: Re: Amazon school- was: Lakeland Cam posted by Adam Quinan on November 03, 2013 at 09:15:40:
I think that you should be careful about posting very personal questions of this sort on TarBoard.
Adam; I understand what you mean but it's okay by me. I hadn't specified what age I was when I was made a boarder- and so I've explained that bit.
I do think that sending small children away to school was (is) cruel. I don't think that the cruelty is intentional, and in some cases it's almost unavoidable. You describe being 'quietly unhappy' for a number of years. I'm sure that describes the experience of many children, and I've seen it from close to; it makes me sad to hear of it.
So, not deliberately cruel, but the English middle and upper classes do have a widespread reputation abroad for being unsympathetic to their children. Mostly due to these traditions that nobody can understand from the outside. Having been through it, I can see why it seems strange.
We sent our two daughters to the local comprehensive school, hiring tutors if they said they needed extra teaching in a given subject. This is the new 'privilege of wealth' model, replacing private schools which are now so expensive that Croesus would have trouble sending his brood to Public School. Actually I think it worked a lot better than any 'public school'. I remember that my eldest daughter wanted extra tuition in Chemistry. Through the school, we found a tutor; she decided- on her own initiative- to rope in another girl who needed the same thing, and got the costs shared. We gave her the money for the tutor every week. One Saturday we didn't hear the murmur of voices down stairs, then the next week it was a different sound. We asked; she'd decided that the original tutor wasn't doing enough, so she fired him and hired another, without asking us. Stunning at 14 years old. We happily let her keep the spare cash from that 'interim' Saturday. I always said that, for any kind of job, I would hire her like a shot, but that school taught her a lot.
They passed the exams, fine. My daughters are pretty intimidating- I count myself a 'happy Lear'.