Posted by Adam Quinan on November 15, 2003 at 12:49:09 from 66.185.85.76 user Adam.
This is still too long but I thought I would show off what I have done so far and get some feedback. Bear in mind that there will be some better formating than in this simple forum. I am not geting into HTML here.
I have tentatively titled the article
"Cut off before their prime"
TarBoard, the Internet discussion forum on all things Ransome, recently had an interesting discussion about how Ransome’s books could have shortened by simple plot twists. In the middle of a discussion about which characters portrayed some aspect of Ransome himself, Peter Ceresole responded to a mention of Timothy Stedding by suggesting that shyness was a plot device not an aspect of Ransome’s character. He illustrated this with the following point. “I'm sure that the main characteristics of 'Timothy'- extreme shyness, skill in prospecting, the floppy hat- came out of the technical requirements of the story. For instance the shyness was central to the whole story running as long as it did. A ring on the Beckfoot door bell on page 10, and "Good afternoon, my name is Timothy Stedding, I am a colleague of James Turner" would have made the story perfectly rational, but disappointingly short”.
From there the whole affair snowballed. We had a couple of alternative suggestions for the celebrated “telegram from Daddy” in Swallows and Amazons.
John Lambert: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES CAN YOU CHILDREN SAIL ALONE IN A SMALL BOAT TO AN UNKNOWN ISLAND. LOVE, DADDY
Ian Wright: MAYBE NEXT YEAR BUT ONLY UNDER CLOSE SUPERVISION
Then there were the rather nastier endings….. from Ross Cossar: At that moment something glanced off the sauce pan with a loud ping. A long arrow with a green feather, stuck quivering in John's chest.
Swallowdale’s turning point from Jon: “Aunt Maria's come to visit and she's been telling us about her adventures camping on Wild Cat when she was a girl. She even wants to come along with us.”
Robert Dilley offered an alternative for Peter Duck: "Go to sea with an old man like that?" exclaimed Captain Flint. "I can't consider it. We'll just have to stay in Lowestoft harbour".
How Winter Holiday could have ended, also by Jon: "Pity the lantern ran out of oil on the way up here. If we'd been able to use it to read the book instead of my torch, we might have been able to signal those children."
Andy Bolger explains why the voyages of Coot Club never happened: "Right young man" said Dr Dudgeon, "After last night's performance you’re off to your Great Aunt in Harrogate. Perhaps she can keep you out of trouble."
Jon brings The Big Six to an untimely end: “That brick that was thrown back at you had George Owdon's fingerprints all over it. We brought him in to aid our enquiries and his friend Strakey admitted everything" said Constable Tedder”.
Andy Bolger again on Secret Water: "Well the First Sea Lord will just have to whistle for it" said ex Commander Walker. "Quality time with my children is far more important than preparing the navy for a war.”
And Andy Bolger’s quick ending to Missee Lee: "Chop their heads off"
Great Northern? Not according to Andy Bolger’s version: "Divers?" said Mr Jemmerling, "My dear boy, I'm afraid those are cormorants."
Robert Dilley moved on to shorten Ransome’s career as an author: “EDITOR MANCHESTER GUARDIAN STOP WILL ACCEPT OFFER SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT GERMANY AT HUGE SALARY STOP HAVE ABANDONED PLANS FOR SERIES CHILDRENS STORIES ON ADVICE WIFE STOP RANSOME”
Richard Greenhough put paid to poor Ransome himself: "I am sorry, but seeing you enjoying your tobacco while strolling across No Man's Land is no reason for me not to obey my orders........."
Andrew Craig-Bennett posted quick endings to some other well known books Jane Eyre’s first sentence. "It was a perfect day for a walk."
Rebecca: "Last night, I dreamed I went to Manderley again. I instantly remembered where I had left my handbag.",
The Hobbit: "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. He had far too much sense to open the front door to strangers wearing funny hats, so after a few minutes the visitor went away." and Anna Karenina “Happy families are all alike. Unhappy families need social workers. Fortunately for Anna... “
Robert Hill’s one line Wind in the Willows:“The Mole was spring-cleaning his little home. "How I love spring-cleaning!" he cried.”
Finally to put an end to the whole mess before it ever got started, I offered:“And God said, "Let there be Light". But He couldn't find the switch in the dark.”
You can join in the TarBoard discussions at the following Internet site. (http://the-stable.lancs.ac.uk/~esarie/tarboard/tarboard.html)