Posted by Jock on March 08, 2006 at 02:35:14 from 84.68.239.14 user Jock.
In Reply to: Re: School Prospectus ( was Ephemeral spelling (was I've forgotton what) Gaudeamus Igitur and goodbye posted by Peter H on March 07, 2006 at 23:59:36:
Hyland,
By the way, you don't mind if I call you 'Hyland' do you, after all 'Head of English' sounds so stuffy and you have been with us longer than most of the other members of staff. You have been hiding your light under the proverbial bushel! Your notice on the staff notice board is a masterpiece and I regret that rather than correct the spelling of my staff memos you did not acquaint me of your literary talents earlier. Now I know that we have had our occasional kafuffles. Your lobbying against the new boat for our erstwhile boat club was not a career enhancing move, while your burning of 'Golly' our school mascot at our Guy Fawkes celebration on the grounds that it was a racist icon upset our captain of our first fifteen so much that it cost us the games against Harrow and Rugby. (It also led to an unfortunate article about racist rituals in one of the lefty broadsheets.) By the way you still owe me half a crown for 'Sammy' his replacement. You will recall that afterwards we trounced Eton good and proper. I also find your perpetual feud with our caretaker perplexing. Mr P has served the school well for many years and the fact that he choose to criticise the new chairman of the Governors which was to lead to his enforced resignation from the teaching team is no reason to pick on the poor blighter. I think that it's time that I told you that your attempts to 'modernize' the school have attracted the attention and dare I say it the support of some of our parents. However, I still feel that you and Miss Wooton were a trifle too ambitious in proposing 'The Joy of Sex' as a handbook for the biology practical sessions. Miss Newcombe's timely offer to cover the subject in Botany saved the school a lot of trouble I can tell you. And I'm still unclear why you objected to her voicing the opinion that working at St Tarboard’s was fun. Now the reason that I'm writing to you is that it's come to my notice that a lot of the material that's been submitted for this term's school magazine is about the new sprogs that staff members have been acquiring. Now don't get me wrong I've nothing against reproduction, in fact Matron and myself... ahem, but that's getting off the subject. As I was saying I've nothing against it, but is this current obsession with sprogs in the mag giving parents the right idea about St Tarboard? After all they might deduce that staff members are so busy looking after their own sprogs that they will not have sufficient time to look after their sprogs and you know that we all do a magnificent job. So look here, perhaps it time that the school had one of these new fangled Blog things for all manner of school news that's not directly related to bringing up parents' sprogs. You would be enjoy the job of editor I know and Nichols will help with the technical stuff I'm sure. So how about it, old chap? You keep saying that we are still obsessed with the demise of Captain Blackett during WWI and that we need to move on. Well with one of these Blog things edited by your hand the school would do the competition fairly brown.
Headmaster
PS I’m not sure what our Eruditer would make of all this. In fact I’m rather worried about him. There’s a rumour going round the governors that he spends his weekends counting gates. So keep the idea under your hat for the moment, there’s a good chap.